December 2011
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“In case you don’t watch videos. DARSTROSITY is not here and No Issue Ten...”
– El Stressboss
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“DARSTROSITY no está aquí. ¡realmente! él no ha estado encendido aquí durante...”
– El Stressboss
Minion #6D5-312
Where’s Darstrosity?
Stressboss put this on the Facebook Fan Page.
Hey its Stressboss, Darstrosity was really really pissed off this afternoon and walked out the Rollerballs HQ. You know where he is?
I got to HQ after he walked out. stressboss told me nothing. Now stressboss is speaking spanish, calling itself El Stressboss.
I typing this in an act of help. WHERE’S...
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roller q derby a - Marilyn Gun-Hoe - Part 3
DARSTROSITY: Derby wives? Got any?
MARILYN GUN-HOE: Oh yes I do, quite I few of those now. From first to last: Nitro from the Renegade Rollergirls of Orange County, DisorderLeigh Conduct formerly on JCRG, Guard Dawn of Evil from Pink Pistols/JCRG, Grr Rawr Rawr from Camaro Harem/JCRG.
D: Any funny road trip stories?
MG-H: Oh yeah! Flying back from Baltimore or Nashville, I don't remember, Nasty Nikki Nightstick and I decide to have a drunk airplane extravaganza all the way back home. We played a game call Crotches vs Butts. The basics of the game go something like this:
step 1: get tipsy
step 2: watch for people walking down the isles at the same time going opposite directions----->
step 3: watch very closely to the random airplane people trying to pass each other. the person on the right side is going to have to make a very important decision, "Do I give em the crotch or the butt as I try to pass?"
step 4: if the person on the right side decides to give em the poor passer by the crotch then that's one point to team crotch....same goes for team butt...as you can imagine there's lots of heckling in this game, which is really funny when the random airplane people have no idea they are playing this game.....yea we are so stupid, I know LOL.
D: Any words of wisdom to the derby folk out their?
MG-H: Nutrition is an extremely important element to your game play. Hit me up if you want to know more!
D: LAST ONE...the minions in your group...how evil are they?
MG-H: The minions are my little monsters and I love them. Everyday they post their evil deeds for to laugh at and like. Just to get an idea of how evil my minions are here's some random/nameless evil deeds:
"In high school I moved a friends car from one side of the parking lot to the other, he call the police to report it stolen they found it and he got in trouble for filing a false report. To this day he doesn't know I did that."
"There was a kid following me just after a jam, I was trying to find somewhere to puke, he would not leave me alone, so I just let it all go right in front of him, maybe even got some on his shoes...where is your mommy now!! LOL"
"I've cheated on everyone I've dated... oops"
"I shop, and I don't use reusable bags."
"I'm the mother of two teenagers. Apparently all I have to do is exist. Just ask them."
"I let a coworker walk around with a toilet seat cover stuck to her butt......"
You get the idea.
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roller q derby a - Marilyn Gun-Hoe - Part 2
DARSTROSITY: You help run (distribute) derbalife. Explain what that is.
MARILYN GUN-HOE: Derbalife supports the lifestyle that is roller derby. Our team is put together by miss Krissy Krash herself, who is my mentor and my wellness coach too. Each Wellness Coach that we have on our team skates, participates in our nutrition programs and are users of our products which provides the best support possible for our clients. I'm a "Distributor" but my main title would be Health & Wellness Coach. My job is to identify the specific needs of each skater and provide a nutritional plan that fits for that skater. I've only been doing this for a little while but being on team Derbalife is life changing! So excited to see where we are going next.
D: You might have gotten so many success stories from people who use it. Know any good ones you remembered?
MG-H: Rowdy Roulette, she's a Derbalife Wellness Coach and uses the Derbalife products daliy. I saw this testimonial on Krissy Krash's web site, here's her story, Captain/School Yard Scrappers, AZ Derby Dames.
"I have lost a total of 12 lbs and I’ve lost a total of 7 overall inches. But the better result is that my skating has improved. I am more focused on the track, my endurance is better, my hits feel harder(that’s what other skaters have told me) and overall I just feel more positive about my daily choices. I made the decision to work with other fellow skaters in my league as a health coach and it’s been really amazing to see the girls have many of the same results as me. We as a league are making the step to get our skaters healthier and this seems to be the right path."
D: Your team has been good off and on, what motivation you use for your team?
MG-H: When I originally joined JCRG my goals were to become an All-Star player/become a Bomber and go to Regionals. This season was my first season with the Bombers and my first time going to Western Regionals, that was huge motivation for me. Which goes the same for a lot of girls on Bombers it was either their first season as a Bomber or they were a vet coming back from injury and everyone wants to prove their worth on the team. So collectively we tried our best this season and gave it all we had. I am so proud of my Bombers for leaving their hearts on the track for every game.
D: When you played your first bout, how many fans did you get after the game?
MG-H: Not that many I don't think. It was my first game no one knew who the hell I was. Comparing how I used to skate then and now it's like night and day. I was so out of shape back then and had no idea what I was doing LOL.
D: Best bout you ever played?
MG-H: My home team Camaro Harem 2010, we played against Emerald City Roller Girls' very own Church of Sk8in! It was such an evenly matched game, such a nail biter! I don't remember HOW many lead changes there were but there was a bunch. Last jam, the score was tied 110 to 110......sadly our jammer went to the box while she was on her initial pass, Church of Sk8in jammer got her points and called it and that was game. Sad we lost, but epic because we made them work so hard for every jam in that game.
D: In flat track, the West coast is huge, is it a good thing that you're playing against or seeing great teams in the West?
MG-H: I think we are so lucky here in the Western Region to be able to face teams like Oly, Rocky Mountain, Rose City and Bay Area. Raising the bar is never a bad thing, it's only going to make this region as a whole stronger. They don't call it "Besterns" for nothing!
PART THREE ON FRIDAY!!
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roller q derby a - Marilyn Gun-Hoe - Part 1
DARSTROSITY: Derby name?
MARILYN GUN-HOE: Marilyn Gun-Hoe #1962
D: How did you get that name?
MG-H: I made it up.....with my brain LOL. I'm a huge Marilyn Monroe fan! I love her as the girl next door, actor, singer, iconic pin up...all that and I really wanted my derby name to reflect that.
D: How long you been skating, and skating for derby?
MG-H: I've been skate boarding and roller skating my whole life. Playing roller derby for about 5 years now and loving this sport more and more with each jam!
D: How did you got into roller derby?
MG-H: My sister Cannon Doll X got me into roller derby. I've always looked up to her and watching her skate was and will always be inspiring to me. And yes shit rocking jammers DOES run in the family.
D: How long you played for Jet City?
MG-H: I've been playing with JCRG for 2 years now. Been on the Bombers (Our all star travel team) for 1 season. So thankful I found JCRG because they made me the skater I am today.
D: Playing with jet cit, what did you learn the most from them?
MG-H: Jet City got me focused on how to rein it all in. When I skate I'm so all over the place, eager to hit anyone in the pack, just imagine rabid squirrel on roller skates and that's me: CRAZY lol. With JCRG, I've learned how to be patient, how to wait for the right angle to take someone out. I feel like I really developed this year, like everything just clicked right off the bat.
PART TWO ON WEDNESDAY
Where's Darstrosity?
He send me a note telling us that ALL NEW A DAY WITH DARSTROSITY VIDEOS WILL BE ON YOUTUBE starting wih Issue Ten.
-Minon #6D5-321
P.S. FUCK BLIP.TV!!!
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WatchA DAY WITH…DARSTROSITY Part 2
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WatchA DAY WITH…DARSTROSITY Part 1
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Watch the Roller Derby World Cup Finals!!
Well post the winner of the 2011 Rollergirl of the Year within two hours after the game!!
Like around 8pm Eastern 5 pm Pacific
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Breaking News!! Voting ends NOW!!!
Yep its over…no more voting. Over a hundred people voted, the voting site gave us a fracken limit. Now the minions debate. It might be done within a minute.
We like to thank all of the 100 people who voted. And sorry for any constant reposting by the minions. 20 minions were fired as of right now!
The will will be reviled December 4th @ 8pm Eastern 5pm Pacific.
SPREAD THE WORD!!!
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